The Romantic Constitution

The Romantic Constitution

The Romantic Constitution

In some circles, couples are actually resorting to written agreements regarding the rules of the relationship. This can be helpful for you as well if you're getting back together with an ex. If you are willing to give your relationship a second chance then it makes sense to want to do it right this time. Verbal agreements don't really exist without a record, because anyone can easily say, "I agreed to no such thing!" whenever disagreements arise. It can work like a romantic constitution in a sense, and it gives both of you a firm understanding of the rules without having to resort the guess work. Obligations can be clearly delineated, and disallowed activities can be defined and listed.

What Not to Include

Of course there are certain aspects to a romantic relationship that shouldn't be included in a written contract. Money is perhaps the most obvious example; the discussion of money matters in prenuptial agreements is decidedly unromantic, which is why quite a lot of love-stricken people object to them in the first place. For a romantic relationship in its early stages, discussing money matter (as in who pays for dinners and whatnot) can be... in a word, icky. Talking about it should suffice, and most couples agree that a guy pays for dates, although women should be able to treat her man every now and then without the guy feeling as if his masculinity is being threatened.

Sex is another area where written agreements may not be a good idea. Listing down how often you guys should have sex can have an opposite effect: it can dampen libidos if you have to have sex at a certain time!

What to Discuss

Talking with your romantic partner about a written agreement can actually be fun as well as useful. By using a written agreement as an excuse, both sides can air grievances no matter how silly it may sound. For example, a man may ask his girl never to talk about a particular boyfriend, while promising to refrain from talking about former girlfriends as well. A woman may ask her guy to refrain from cutting his toenails in bed, or perhaps to make certain changes in his diet. Everything under the sun can be discussed, and pet peeves can be said out loud with fear of censure.

Finally, this can be practice for the real thing, especially if you are getting serious and marriage is on the horizon. After all, marriage is a legal contract as well, and many marriages these days come with prenuptial agreements. At the very least, you can practice conforming to the current rules of your present relationship, so that you can prepare yourself when you need to conform to more stringent rules required by marriage.

In all seriousness, though, a written contract simply emphasizes the need for couples to communicate with each other. Confusion, as well as breakups, can be averted when men and women talk to each other, and both have firm ideas as to what is expected from them. Obeying the rules is much easier when everyone knows what the rules are to begin with.

Getting back together with an ex is not that hard. All you need is greater understanding and the right way to handle it. Make sure to visit our blog for more tips.